When we’ve experienced significant trauma, it can be easy to close ourselves off from the rest of the world and disconnect from the people we love. Our pain makes us feel isolated as if no one else could ever possibly understand its significance and its effect on our lives, but it’s this narrative that keeps us from healing, from growing, and from connecting—all the things we need to move forward and return to joy.
Pain creates the ultimate roadblock to healing. This isolating narrative we create because of our pain makes us feel alone, but when ego takes part in this conversation, it also makes us feel special. When we think we are special, especially because we are in pain, we are our own worst enemy, creating a gap between ourselves, the rest of the world, and the power of love.
The Narrative of Pain
Pain comes in many forms. It could be physical pain like a cut or a broken bone, mental pain such as a trauma trigger or depression, or it could even be spiritual if we feel disconnected from our ancestors and our faith. No matter the reason or the type, pain, in and of itself, can make us feel isolated and trapped. This is when the ego steps in and begins to spin a web of lies that will keep us in this place of loneliness and despair. Why? Because the ego, as annoying as it can be, is a protector. It wants to keep us safe but unfortunately, it does so by keeping us emotionally guarded. While this can be something that keeps us alive through our darkest hours, we need to release it once we begin to heal.
Pain plus ego is a rough combination because the ego steps in to protect us and keep us moving forward, but the ego also continues to separate us from reality and others in our lives. Ego tells us no one understands, and even if someone shares an intimate story of their pain which shows they do understand, our narrative is far more important to the ego. We, then, begin to push people away by saying things that can sound harsh and abrasive because what we are really doing is dismissing the pain of another for our own. We believe, whole-heartedly, our pain trumps the pain of another, and this is where we begin to put ourselves in an even bigger trap. The only thing we can do to get out is to work through our ego and begin to heal.
Moving Beyond Our Trauma
Maneuvering through the maze of the ego is a difficult process because it means atoning to our selfish and rude behaviors while also unpacking the painful experiences that brought us to the maze in the first place. For this task, we must remember to be gentle with ourselves and love ourselves unconditionally. We only know what we know, so if we are unaware of something and then we become aware of it, we need to be kind with ourselves during that learning process, refusing to succumb to shame and guilt.
This isn’t an easy feat, but it’s this learning process that brings us to what truly makes us special—the overcoming. Everyone will face challenges in their lives, but becoming a survivor, creating a narrative of overcoming and transcending pain is the real hero story, the story that makes us, the individual, special.
A great option during this time is therapy and or an inpatient program that can help you feel safe while you unpack your emotional baggage. Always remember you don’t have to go it alone. Ever.
What Really Makes Me Special?
The new narrative we must create stems from how we overcome our pain, not the pain itself. Everyone has the ability to feel pain, and it doesn’t matter if the pain stems from a paper cut or from years of physical abuse—every human can and will feel pain at some point in their lives. What really makes us special is our individual ability to overcome our obstacles and come together on the other side of the dark tunnel. Some of us may make it through with more grace than another, but if we remove this judgment and see the other as another survivor, another part of the human condition, we create a more loving and understanding world for all to heal and grow in.
Pool your resources with others that are struggling. Remind them they are safe, and you are there to help. Ask if they have space for you to share but do so without the intention of “wowing” someone or spewing your comparative culture pain. Connecting means trust and unconditional love. Let ego sit this one out and come to the table without judgment. The more you can enact this type of connection, the more beauty you will find in the world.
Overcoming our past experiences is not an easy feat, especially if we’ve tried and failed in the past. That’s why Burning Tree Ranch could be a great option for you. If you’ve been struggling with addiction and or your mental health, we are here to help. We offer a range of programs to get you on the path to recovery once and for all. Reach out today to learn about our residential options in the beauty of Texas. Call now: (855) 678-5827